suicide mix-up

suicide mix-up

it isn’t death that’s desired, but a change.
A change that feels impossible, or maybe you can’t even imagine what the change would be.
But still it is a mix-up, even if you are correct that some specific change cannot be achieved.
Because it remains true that what you desire is not death, but a change.
If you say, “I want to die.”
Maybe you should reply to you with,
“What changes do I desire?
Are they or any work-arounds both possible and acceptable?
How much do I really desire them?
And do I desire them deep in my heart of hearts, or are they more like notions I can’t give up?
And what happens after I die to these changes I’d sought. Assuming, it wasn’t really annihilation so much as a different set of circumstances that I had wished for, what is the likelihood that I will meet with such a set of circumstances on the other side of things if I kill myself now?”

it isn’t suicide that is evil, but the end result.
You don’t get what you want and you hurt other people.
Maybe you want to hurt some of them.
For not caring enough about you, or not in the right way.
But that too is a mix-up.
What you want is for them to care about you and in a way that feels right to you, not to hurt them.

This all also applies to slow-suicides, like drinking too much, eating junk, smoking all day, and so on.

copyright: AMW

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