Buy Our Books!

Buy Our Books!

We link to Amazon and Barnes & Nobles editions in the book descriptions below.
You can also go directly to our author pages:
Barnes & Nobles

But first, a word. We’ve written a bunch of books. No one reads any of them. We don’t know why.

If someone were to say to us, “What book should I read first?”, what would we say?

Maybe we would say: Start with a A Readable Reader. It’s pretty old, but it’s very readable, and is an interesting survey of our first like eight years of efforts. It has stories about the Pure Love business and selections of ads for Pure Love, poetry, essays — it’s pretty good.

We imagine that Manchild of Elfland is pretty good. And it has a plot. But we haven’t done a full read-through and final revision. And this is just part one. And will we ever publish part two?

Finally, these two pretty recent books are pretty good:

Diary of an Adamant Lover

Diary of an Adamant Lover

It was supposed to be about Bartleby Willard’s life and times at Skullvalley After Whistletown Booksellers, but the author and editor and everybody else are so upset about the state of these United States that, well, the book becomes a worried dream. Grendel gets involved! And we even tried our hand at a short poem in the style of the Anglo Saxen epics. No one has read the book except those who created it. It might very well be very good!

Pure Love & Pure Love User’s Manual

Update Sunday, October 2, 2022: We tried to pare down the philosophizing in the first section. If anyone already bought this book, please remove it from your device and add it back to your device. Then you should have the most recent version of the book. We’d really like to know if you liked it, or if you could only read it a little and then were bored — like how far did you get, and what stopped you up? You could write us at

Update Sunday, December 11, 2022: We posted another version. No new material. Just editing what we’d done a while back. It’s up already. We’ll read it in a week or three. It’s so lonely this project this broken spot in the clearing we cannot fix it.

We finally went and did it! Buy your very own Pure Love right here! How do we beam you an infinite dollop of the eternal spiritual Good that all earthly loves partake of to the degree that they truly Love? And for only US$3? We’re not sure, but the User’s Manual part of the product considers such questions and other heresies.

Pure Love & Pure Love User’s Manual at Amazon.

Fixing Frankenstein

We intervene in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, William Shakespeare’s King Lear, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s Die Leiden des Jungen Werthers and a couple other classic texts — to nudge the protagonists towards wiser decisions and happier endings.

Fixing Frankenstein at Amazon.
Fixing Frankenstein at Barnes & Nobles.

A Readable Reader
Stories, Essays, Poems. Shared Joy.

A Readable Reader draws selections from many sources, including First Loves and First Essays (see below). Several stories about the Pure Love business, some poems, a few essays, a few advertisements for Pure Love. The anthology’s hope is reflected in its title: that these writings are fun, engaging, rewarding reads that pull readers along with their (accessible!) Beauty.

A Readable Reader for Amazon Kindle / at B&N (EPUB).

Superhero Novella probably needs one more edit. We’re not sure that it will ever get that edit.

A pair of eternal superhero lovebirds attempt to root out crime at its psychological and spiritual roots. Action! Love! Metaphysics! Friendship! Charming Characters!

Read The First Two Chapters.

Superhero Novella for Amazon Kindle / in Paperback (POD) / at B&N (EPUB).

Love at a Reasonable Price, Volume I: First Loves.
Stories about manufacturing, buying, and selling Pure Love on the open market.

No one seems to be able to get through this first book of ours.
So we’re not particularly pushing it. A Readable Reader contains several of the most reader-friendly selections of this and other works, including the untried First Essays below.

Love at a Reasonable Price, Volume I: First Loves for Amazon Kindle / B&N (EPUB).
First Loves Landing Page has a few introductory words and a sample.

First Essays is a lot of essays. You can find many of the better ones in A Readable Reader and Pure Love & User’s Manual

First Essays at Amazon And Barnes & Nobles (EPUB)
A List of Chapters with Links to Samples.
No one’s read this one, so we can’t really say.

We set all the many old tumbling-over updates off to one side

Everything on the site is authored by Bartleby Willard, who never was and probably never will be; edited by the equally implausible Ambrose “Amble” or “Andy” Whistletown, and copyrighted by Andrew Mackenzie Watson, who — at least to those of us mired in the realm of appearances — seems to be.

This is a production of American Turkey Printshop — “Ben Franklin says we’re a noble bird!”

This is a production of Modgepanc Bookmakers — “If it’s not in our mind-plan, it shouldn’t be on your shelf!”

This is a production of any number of other made-up enterprises.