Chapters of Diary of an Adamant Seducer

Bartleby:

“All but the very wisest are only as effectively good as the systems they operate within. And even the wisdom and effective goodness of the wisest people is limited by the space for wisdom and goodness that is available to them.

“Most everyone is mostly evil. Dark cruel sick evil.

“No. But they’re so weak and so clueless and so desperate for safety, love, thriving, respect, a situation, a place.

“And so they purposely bobble their own hold on the Light within each conscious moment. They purposely muddy their own internal waters out of fear that their own inner Goodness might complicate things for them. What if spiritual insight were to prevent them letting things slide towards their gimme gimme gimme apparent momentary advantage?! Oh no! That’d be terrible!

“A key part of behaving well is working to maintain systems that protect and foster clarity, honesty, openness, kindness, fair debate and unbiased law.

“A key part of behaving well is admitting how beholden we all are to the systems, organizations, relationships, etc. within which we live; while also working to make those overlapping, interconnected outer-selves wiser and better: more aware, honest, clear, accurate, competent, kind, joyfully creative and sharing.

“But I’m lonely and lost. I’m all jags and jangles.

“What usefulness is within me? And how can I access it?

“Perfectionism is used by the Evil in both directions.

“Like this:

“Out a corner of the mouth it’s declared that all is hopeless corrupt and that’s the way of the world and you’ve no choice but to choose power and safety — since Goodness and decency are just children’s fantasies.
(Perfectionism used to prove the uselessness of idealism).

“Whilst bold and full-throated it’s declared that our Power is also Goodness.
“And while out the other corner of the mouth it’s suggested that those few broken Laws are really more like laws — or actually rules of thumb that of course don’t in this case quite apply at all.
(Perfectionism used to confuse Power with Goodness.)

“The path to political health is clarity, honesty, fair and measured debate, power-sharing, and open evaluation of leadership’s decisions and actions. The job of the citizenry in a Republic is to serve as a final check on madness and corruption in government.

“But people would rather pout in nihilistic cynicisms and vaunt in romantic patriotisms, which also end up as nihilism.
(Since romantic patrotisms celebrate power, prestige, wealth, and other things no human soul/heart/mind could ever call a True Good.)

“How to make us better stewards of ourselves and our shared resources — including our governments, bureaucracies, relationships and conversations?

“Is there a way through this loneliness?

“Can one so thoroughly through broken connection and disturbed affection perverted from a hale-hearty-healthful course find the wisdom to think and act well?

“For where could I find wisdom but within myself? Within the space where my mind/heart meet Godlight. And aren’t I all tattered and torn inside?

“How can I trust what I find within this mangy mess of fractured pride, displaced trust and frustrated passion?”

Amble:

“Where is my wife? I need my wife.

“I’m just a person.

“I want everything to go well for everyone.

“But all I can think about and feel about is where is my wife and how do I reach her and how do we make it right to be like this — the way we already are: needy, weak, tiny, insignificant, specks of lonely nothing that would join to merge give birth and die, having completed our mission.

“All I can think about is that life is killing me and will kill me and I don’t care I just want my wife because I’m just a man and a man’s not really so important that he needs to last but he does need to be himself even if that means disappearing into his wife and family and those little, meaningless toils whereby he accepts the love that is his and is him.

“He’s not a saint. He’s just a man.

“He should keep his heart and mind turned toward the Light that shines through all things — even his puny conscious space. But what’s the point of pretending he’s a saint, when he’s just some lonely guy who needs human love?”

All Together:

Help us, God.
Help us improve the individual and shared systems wherein and whereby we live and die.
Overlapping systems for overlapping communities: self, mate, family, friends, organizations secular and parochial, governments more and less local, communities big and small, the world and universe, the God and the stars.
Help us, God,
To be ourselves in a way that is good for everyone.

Authors: BW/AW
Copyright: AMW

Chapters of Diary of an Adamant Seducer