Are you sick of coasters that leave behind no soapy residue, so completely disappearing from absented surfaces that you’d scarcely believe they’d ever been there?

Are you sick and tired with household conveniences that would–in their audacity to outlive their makers and masters–play God at the expense of mortals and our concerns? Do you accordingly long for a coaster that will gently dissolve beneath sweating beverages and melt into a permanent disfiguration beneath the summer sun? Wouldn’t it feel great to trade in coasters that–as wood and now even more tactlessly as rubber–coast arrogantly through generations and generations of hard-working human beings for coasters that new their place as lowly subplots to the human drama?

Finally, are you exasperated with how unsuitable most coasters are for hand-washing? Do you agree that the average coaster’s mindset seems to be set back in the dark ages, before the discovery of germs–a discovery which, by revolutionizing medical science and cultural conventions, has made us both safer and, in our own words, “less icky”?

Or then again and once more round the bend: Do you long for the ability to take a stack of soft, easily crumbled coasters and, with a little hot water, meld them together into a long cylinder full of fault-lines that make its sheer strength amazingly low?

If you answered “Yes!” to any of those questions, or if you’re simply eager to slip your thought beneath an overwhelming impracticality for the sake of the absurd snake-charming charm that is the essence of novelty products, then you will agree that drink coasters made of soap is a product whose time has come–is actually long overdue, having in fact been needed as long as skipping stones and opposite-days have been.

But who would dare? What enterprise would rouse themselves to the challenge? What business interest would accept the challenge to create, brand, and profitably unload a physicalized lark of this degree?

Wandering Albatross Press would!

Yes, we would. We just might, so sit tight.