I am just a man
A man needs a wife

It’s easy to be a knight of faith in an anchorage,
huddled around a divine revelation that God is Love.
But even Julian wanted to know about a friend, how that particular person was doing
And even she felt a little stymied when God went silent on her.
But then of course she accepted the silence and opened up to God and was given to understand
that it’s better to focus on everyone, to love wide rather than narrow.

It’s easy to be a knight of faith in an anchorage,
working every moment to love wide and deep, rather than narrow selfish.
Because that’s the only faith that maps more or less 1:1 to God’s will.

That’s why the rest of us
make for such shitty knights of faith.

Oh dear God most Holy and on High,
please guide me to my baby girl,
let her recognize me and me her,
and let us find the way to tell each other
that our wounds match, our broken places correspond,
our perversions complement one another’s

Whatever dude

Oh come on!
You gotta help me out here!

Why?
So you can be a knight of faith kneeling in service to your lonely nooks and howling projections?

If you would just help me out with this little difficulty

What?
You’ll ask me to give you healthy children, and a safe place to raise them, and enough money that they want for nothing, and a roof over your heads and a government that won’t do you wrong? Of course I’d like those things for you, but they aren’t what the knight of faith’s faith is about. Start from the center and let me tell you how it will be. Maybe you have to live alone. Maybe you don’t. How would you know when you never start from the starting point?

Is this why I can’t tell
what’s You and what’s my rambling desperations?
Because you have nothing to say about the heart-shaped leaves when I never seek the winding vine, its reaching roots, the soil water sunlight, and the Love that gardens all?

Knight of faith
Nights of clawing after daydreams that start as wisps of fractured longing
caught for no good reason
in the subway
across the info-aether
in a waiting room
along the street
in a restaurant
or coffee shop
Caught like a virus you don’t even notice
But then at night
alone again
you wake up possessed by a whole love story a forever connection an ever-gushing well of mutual loving satisfaction.
It all all at once makes so much sense, is the only possible answer to every possible question

Knight of faith
Nights of nonsense pursued with professional gusto
Days spent drifting from exhaustion to exhaustion, too bored and lonely to think straight
And all the while Rome burns again around you
You hear the cries of whole families trapped in the collapsing stones and rushing flames
You see the once glorious city melted down into base elements
dirt stone hope fear, awareness watching a nothing exploding with everything and vice versa

Knight of faith
I don’t know where to place you
how to steer you
how to arrange you
I can’t see how to play this
how to live this

Knight of faith
I think this night is falling fast
and I think that light is the past
I’d wake you from your dreams
and shake you out you schemes
but you slumber on,
being so very tired

Author: Saul Kirchenmeister
Editorial Squad: Bartleby Willard and Amble Whistletown
Truth: nowhere in this accordion player singing old chansons to people moving past, going somewhere, always going somewhere they need to get to