Can find no foothold.
Not inside or outside
what I’ve become.

Lonely for my wife and family
Only why must I act so ickily?
Asking for love and companionship
Waxing eloquent as perversions drip
from every pore. This strange divide
between your life and its sex drive.
I can’t account for it. It isn’t me,
but yet rolls out of me. I wouldn’t say
those things; play those roles; be
eager to love, whisper, play that way.
None of it fits and yet all of it sticks.
What do you do when there must be some mistake?
Who do you ask for your heart and loin to slake
when they seem at odds
?
I would
like
to just
have a nice
little life
on the seashore
little wife
asking for more
little strife
behind closed doors
little girl
to forgive
what can’t
be dissolved
or wished or washed away
someone
to see past
my pretend violence and pretend niceness
someone
to help me
be myself
quiet calm loving
able gentle alive
no longer bound
by crimes I don’t recall
in lines I didn’t install
somewhere
where
I love you
is the beginning,
middle,
end,
the center that holds,
our place to unfold
our better angels

Author: AW
Editor: BW
Copyright: AMW