Giving Up

Giving Up

So giving up anyway
done I quit I can’t
now you know
too much

I walk the edges and bound the lines
It carries the weight, it pulls the tide
I move the cartons, I squish the jugs
It carries the time, it swings us wide
Now I care not for this mistake which I cannot
whatever it was
whoever did it
wherever it took place
however its burrowed down deep
to where I cannot reach but cannot escape

Who’s fault?
Privileged asshole
Everyone thinks they have it rough
Twenty-five years of walking around talking about how you can’t take it anymore
A long time to talk to yourself, lonely and bored, unsure of your footsteps.
Twenty-five years of trying to find someone to talk to
when you won’t play the game
not because you’re too good for it
not because you’ve got principals
not because you can’t make out the rules
not because you don’t believe in the parameters
just because you can’t
you can’t do it
you just can’t do it
you have to go home
wherever you are
whatever you’re doing
whoever you’re with
need to go home
a place that isn’t
a nest not there

In the wrong for all your self-indulgence
Wasting time, wasting everything, letting everything fall apart
can’t help yourself, can’t help others, can’t help the collective, can’t help but drink two beers with gross thai food two days after having sworn off alcohol for the next three months

Giving up
I quit
For so many years talking of, fantasizing of, dreaming of quitting
sometimes you come close
but it’s never like you wished when you were young and eager,
when you wished you could lie your head on her stomach and melt away with her
And of course
well that
Everyone has there little ups and downs

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