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Author: Bartleby

Biographical 1: Salesmen pouting in the hall of the mountain king

Biographical 1: Salesmen pouting in the hall of the mountain king

Chapters of Diary of an Adamant Seducer

[update October 2018: Yeah, we think we’re going to go forward with this evolving ebook. If you think you might like to subscribe to it, please join our mailing list at the bottom of this page.]

[update November 2021: Now we’re going forward with this evolving ebook. We’re not talking about subscriptions at the moment. You can see the link to the chapters above. What is here called “Andy Watson” has now become “Amble Whistletown”. Andy Watson is not a fictional character; he is a legal entity; he holds the copyright and buys the groceries.]

Bartleby Willard and Andy Watson, who do not approve of anything or anyone, are here to sell everyone various products, from cat-themed totes to stories about buying and selling Pure Love (an eternal good: Pure Love is infinitely kind; normal love partakes to some degree of Pure Love, but because tainted with impurities like greed and boredom, normal love’s vision of what to do and how to do it is to some degree off).

They live in the hall of the mountain king. The hall is open-air, lined with gnarled pines. Its flooring is angular stones and thick green grass. At one end of the hall, the mountain king with the wrinkled round head and big pocked nose sits potbellied on his throne, conversing — by appointment only — with the many mountain monsters. He drinks cold mountain water from a chalice carved out of pine and wears a bearskin robe over his hairy knobby shoulders. Bartleby Willard and Andy Watson stand back towards the end of the hall. They cross their arms across their gila-monster-bellies and lean a little back and more on one foot than another. They have rounded fratboy muscles and wear maui flip-flops, baggy athletic shorts, and maroon T-shirts emblazoned with several random Greek letters in puffy white. They wear ball caps with concave-down brims backwards. They keep to themselves and circle their jaws and squint their eyes as they nod and back-throat laugh and cool and know it all.

They used to live in the Wandering Albatross Press Building in Somewhere Sometime Wall Street, but have decided to remove themselves to the hall of the mountain king and forget about their olden days. Still, under contract and having nothing better to do, they draft blogposts and fit together storybook entries.

Would you buy anything from these cynical dropouts from humankind? Would they sell anything to you slop-hop bloat-boast lazy loafers?

Would a dragon get into a violent argument with a giant ground unicorn, necessitating the intervention of the reluctant mountain king? Would the scrawny little tree troll journey up from the valley to request an audience with his royal mountainness? Would this skeletally-waify canined apparition (picture a three-fingered aye-aye stretched out into a three-foot-tall humanoid with fur everywhere except for his strangely bald and appallingly gray face) wax eloquent about the need for a normalization of mountain thaw runoff policies?

You see: Stranger things always and forevermore happen, and the crimson chord of capitalism binds us all, keeping us tightly packed together so long as it doesn’t snap and toss us asunder, down into our angry chasms and the blast.

Chapters of Diary of an Adamant Seducer

From Before:

This is the first Fictionish writing in Bartleby’s Diary of an Adamant Lover. For more on this book and what all else’s going on in this blog, see the words beneath these words.

About our ebooks project:

We’re letting Bartleby write his book; we’re even publishing it for him; it is two loosely bound sketchbooks:

(1) Love at a Reasonable Price: Stories of his magically timeless time here at Wandering Albatross Press interspersed with writings from that time or from now but somehow connected to that time–stories about manufacturing, marketing, distributing, and selling Pure Love;
and
(2) Diary of an Adamant Lover: Stories of his current time here all alone with the quiet squeaking floorboards and the rats thumping in the ceiling: Stories of his cries for help in the ruins of Wandering Albatross Press, the black and dark time after the hope and before the answer.

The books will be sold [when?? Maybe Love at a Reasonable Price will be out by Christmas 2018.] here:
Buy the Books/Chapter
That page also includes a current list of chapters for each book.

If you think you might like to buy Love at a Reasonable Price and/or subscribe to Diary of an Adamant Lover (which we think we’ll release as an eSerialnovel, beginning maybe early 2019) and/or just maybe want to hear from us from time to time:

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Author: Bartleby Willard, fictional character

Copyright holder/editor: Andrew Mackenzie Watson (of the Sand Springs Watsons)

Blog Book Project Introduction

Blog Book Project Introduction

Blog Book Introduction

Hello Worlds!

This is Love at a Reasonable Price, a blog and a book by the fictional Bartleby Willard, an originally unbidden but now beloved writer-in-residence at Wandering Albatross Press, the world’s only truly eternal (existing prior to timespace and within every momentspot) publishing house.

The plan: Each week, Bartleby, who has been writing and forgetting for years, and his editor Andy Watson, who has been sheepishly shrugging his shoulders for years, will select something from the dusty pile; edit and otherwise complete it; write a blog entry that in some way compliments the selection; and then release the former into an evolving ebook and the latter into this blog.

For intro and access to the ebook, float up to the upper right hand corner of this blog–up to the “Buy the Book” link; or just fall yourself through this Book Link. What will Bartleby’s wondrous first book be? Will it be anything at all? Hmmmm. Buying this evolving and so not yet evolved book is a risk of ten US American dollars. But purchasing literary endeavors is always a risk of time and money (insofar as time = money, we can speak of a risk of timemoney).

Please keep in mind that this blog is enmeshed within the international capitalistic economy. Not only is it hawking a book version of itself, it is raising awareness for the entire product line of Wandering Albatross Press, which currently includes TOTES DECORATED WITH WHIMSYING CATS

But to return to the fly-by-night within this book writing procedure: Yes, I, Bartleby Willard, your author, your dashing young novelty, am still the sorcerer’s understudy. Perhaps, indeed most likely or rather almost certainly, any book that arrives through the above outlined process will be but a sketchbook, a book of literary doodles. How could such a wildly respectable publishing house publish the sketchbook of a young, wind-swept, wave-tossed, bramble-beaten, muddy-eyed fictional personage? But Wandering Albatross Press, you see, has a great affinity for great sweeping works of doodling. And no one here in the WAP office in Somewhere Sometime Wall Street; I say, no one here can stand another year of BW writing, AMW shrugging, and the papers piling up and up and up. So let them try something! Anything! Please!

Enough; it is not time for me to write a novel, nor even a collection of short stories, and yet it is time for me to write something, and so here comes this jumble tumble. But with some kind of cohesion: Much will be said about manufacturing, marketing, distributing, and selling Pure Love (an eternal good: the essential core of all particular loves;–giving infinitely, without looking for any justification or recompense); and much about Wandering Albatross Press and its new uninvited, unhired, but befriended and encouraged author.

Yours in the inevitability of kindness and the incidentallity of all else,

Bartleby Willard, self-imposed live-in staff writer for the bemused Wandering Albatross Press
Not so very long ago
The thundering Wandering Albatross Press Building at sometime somewhere Wall Street, NYC

——

The long-play version of this introduction includes another possible explanation for the contradictory plot lines, some charming metaphysical assumptions, and a few other flourishes. The book is

We do sell Cat Totes

——-

About this project:

We’re letting Bartleby write his book; we’re even publishing it for him; it is a loosely bound sketchbook: stories of his time here at Wandering Albatross Press interspersed with writings from that time or from now but somehow connected to that time; the supplementary writings will be mostly stories about manufacturing, marketing, distributing, and selling Pure Love. This blog will consist of extracts from the book’s chapters as they are released into the lumiferous aether. You can buy BW’s book as he writes it here. You can also consider this blog a long advertisement for Wandering Albatross Press’s some-such-several wonderful products; like . You can also view this blog as it’s own thing–a good unto itself–and as such a sweet, chaste little kiss running through the infomaterous aether (the theory of a lumiferous ether through which electromagetic waves move is no longer widely accepted and its originators all long dead; it is very much in the public domain and so publishing houses, such as the beautiful WAP, can use it any way they please). But insofar as this is a commercial venture, we still need it fundamentally grounded not in profit-motive, but in kind delight. So cross your fingers for us; say a prayer for us; keep a gentle but stern, a wary but hopeful eye on us. Help us to try. Or at least let us try.

Author: Bartleby Willard, fictional character

Copyright holder/editor: Andrew Mackenzie Watson (of the Sand Springs Watsons)